re? hi re.

...is how most of our conversations begin. where they will end up is any one's guess. here are some facts, speculations, and flat out lies about me and this friend i call "anne"...


THINGS WE HAVE IN COMMON:

- we both love to sleep.

- any object that could in any way be seen as phallic inspires each of us to hump either the air or a person near to us. (note- "anne" likes to look off into the distance with a dead look in her eyes while performing said hump)

-we share a love of mocking. shamelessly mocking ourselves, each other, and others at every turn. "anne" especially loves it when others mock her.

-we both have a deep love for/ obsession with our animals.

- humor is at the top of our lists of characteristics we value in other people.

- we like to bicker with each other.

- we both love lesbians. me, because i am one. "anne" because she wishes she was one.


- we love playing bar trivia and take it more seriously than some might consider healthy.

- we met in college. "anne" had a mobile made from tampons hanging from her dorm ceiling. i knew we would become fast friends.

- i love children, i find them very cute and amusing. "anne" loves retarded adults, she finds them very cute and amusing.

-we both love to talk on the phone.

- we love to blame each other, and others, for things that are clearly our responsibilities and faults.



THINGS WE DON'T HAVE IN COMMON:

- "anne" likes to do it with boys.

- "anne" is a cat person, i am a dog person.

- i wear one pair of glasses at a time. "anne" wears at least 2 pairs at once, sometimes even 3 in the summer.

- i get a big thrill out of making my family holiday card at christmas time. "anne' gets a big thrill out of making her holiday card for valentines day.

-i am married, have 2 human children, 3 canine children, and one tortoise daughter. "anne" has one boyfriend and 2 feline children.

-"anne" is overwhelmed making boxed dinners, i love to cook elaborate and tasty meals.

- i ramble on voicemail until it cuts me off. "anne" leaves short one sentence statements about something odd. (for instance: "when i'm at work, my cats listen to smooth jazz".)

- "anne" loves salty foods, i love sweets.

- "anne" cries easily and often. my tear ducts dried up in 1987.

-"anne" is a really good speller and punctuater, i have become slovenly and lazy since the invention of spell check.

-i think this blog is a really good idea, "anne" disagrees.